Noodle on This

August 25, 2008

North Korea has reportedly invented a noodle that delays hunger, amid UN warnings of possible famine.

If this isn’t good PR, I don’t know what is. Delays hunger? I always wished that my food would do that! …instead of…what food usually does…?

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Chemistry Fail…or Alchemy Win?

August 20, 2008

Oh, The Onion…for so long a bastion of sarcasm. Yet even you are not immune to error!

Granite Countertops May Contain Uranium

Many homeowners are having to remove their new countertops because the granite in them has been found to emit hazardous levels of radon.

Even if you don’t know anything about chemistry, you might ask the question: “Radon? I thought you just said the countertops contain uranium.”

When you do know something about chemistry, it gets even stranger: uranium and radon are both elements. The whole point of an element is that it’s completely different at the most fundamental level from all other elements.

Perhaps, then, they’re using “uranium” colloquially? A term for any radioactive substance — presumably also green and ooze-like?

(Seriously, someone correct my chemistry here. Obviously radioactive decay does change one element into another. It’s still hilarious, though, no?)